I’m trying to be happy because I simply can’t walk around everyday showing how terrible I feel. I try to move on. I try everyday and I keep telling myself that I’m okay but I’m really not. I’m just a big mess and some days I can’t even handle it and somehow it gives me trouble. I don’t want to cry but I do. And I hate it. I hate doing it, I hate showing it, I hate being desperate to make it stop and I just hate being sad and upset all the time.